i want a love like this.

To me, god is fair and great.
whenever i tell someone, oh i'm not going to fall for this particular attitude or person, i end up falling for it.
like there is this guy who keeps making me smile.
some people might have already known who is he (:
well he has thai and cheena blood which i think i blogged before i won't date or fall for this kind of people.
well guess what, he is the one making me smile the most apart of my ladies.
even tho talking to him in the early morning is like talking to the wall in a sense but he is that adorable(:

And there is this friend of mine, i have known him for quite sometime now and things just happen.
i use to be so in love with him but i'm really confused about my feeling towards him now.
my friend actually confessed for me that i like him and he seems okay with it.
i know he does not want a relationship and somehow i didn't expect anything from that confession
but he keeps giving me mixed signals that i honestly dunno weather you care about me or not.
and day by day i am growing insecure.
why?
cause i'm afraid that one day you'll disappear again.
some people may say " aww, don't think like that "
well news flash people, he keeps doing that. he always does that. and its annoying me.
i need a guy who can stay by me when i need him like how i am going to stand by him when he needs me.
i don't need a guy who is like a cookie.
one min you there and the next your not.
i know that over the past few years we have know each other, we have grown so comfortable with each other.
i really like that part about us. we are able to tell anything to each other and everything.
the part where we can lean on each other and not be bothered about it at all.
thats what i love about you and if love meant care and acceptance,
that i must have loved you and maybe i still do(:

but maybe, i have to start moving on cause i don't wanna get stuck in a time that wont move.
and that wont bring me anywhere.