Hi,

how have you been? Today i finally decided i really miss you that much then i ended up writing this virtual letter which you probably aint ever gonna see. anyway, how is everything? how's your family? i hope your not fighting with them and that all is well.

the purpose of this writing was to say i miss you and where did you go too? you just disappeared suddenly and i was worried but i got over it and started praying for your safety and for your happiness. you have been through so much and you always wanted to be strong for everyone but everyone needs someone at one point of time. Lone wolves don't survive in the long run yknow?

I miss you teasing you, i miss your good morning sms, i miss you calling me just to wake me up and making bets just to get me to wake up early, i miss aruging with you over small matters and laughing it off in the end because we both can't remember. i miss hitting your shoulder when you annoy me or made me laugh, i miss laying down on your shoulder when i'm tired, i miss you hugging me goodbye all the time and how you like to mess up my hair and earning an evil eye and mostly i miss your voice and laughter.

bottom line is i miss you but now that your gone, i can only pray for your happiness and safety and do what makes you happy. thats my advice. making yourself happy is the most important thing. i learn it the hard way when i let money rule my life. i was unhappy as hell! i hated everyhing and didn't want to even makes jokes or talk to anyone. i just wanted to be alone and i became sick and felt horrible.

anyway, i hope your have a good life in the future and hopefully you wont forget me. take care.

much misses,

me.

i know my blog hasnt been alive for the past few weeks or month,
meh i dun really care anyway cause no one reads it.
As i was reading through my old enteries, i realized something. i always talked about you.
Yes, you.
and today when i heard an old song by miley cyrus-stay,
i immediately missed you.
i missed you so bad my eyes started tearing up and i ended up on my blog and reading through the pains you put me through then i realized someone has seriously got to slap me!
i mean come one, he put me on a hell bound rollercoaster, disappeared suddenly without a trace, no sms or anything and i'm still here actually missing him?!
Dafuq logic is that?!

well thats isnt   logic my dear people,
that is called emotions.
as much as we love to hate them, they are here to stay forever. Yes, forever.

oh look! its a colorful giraffe!~

* deep breathes * 
honestly, i dunno what im suppose to be typing.
i feel as tho everything right now is bottled up and i honestly dunno how i want to let it out.
yknow what, i'm tired already, very awesomely tired.
why?
simple, cause everything my heart skips a beat or i feel butterflies,
i gotta keep it to myself and pretend that i dun even care about you no more.
i gotta zip up my lips and throw the key away and smile.
she think your awesome but how can i say the same when i hardly know whats going on with you now?
she is trying her hardest to get you.
what am i suppose to do?
as a friend and as someone who liked you , i can only stand by her and watch her try her best and
swallow my feeling and cheer her on.
she is putting in effort but i don't see why i should.
yes, i know i made a mistake before. i'm trying my hardest not to do it again but
seeing her put that much effort into you just makes me want to do it again.
I hate this. very much.
there are days when i'll wait for your sms and there are days where i'll miss you
but your the guy who i'll loved to hate. Trust me.
and i tried so many times to get you out of my head. i even tried to severe ties with you by telling you, " lets not contact anymore"
but in the end, i took 3 steps forward only to take 13 steps backwards.
dun tell me you give up too easily and only time can make it go away,
well you know what, time ain't on my side and i fcuking tried but fail every time.
This is killing me. this is annoying me.
THIS IS A FCUKING ROLLERCOASTER I CANT GET OFF.
:(

omg! my blog is actually still alive! i'm amazed! 
ps, and very lame apparently.

nuff said.