oh look! its a colorful giraffe!~

* deep breathes * 
honestly, i dunno what im suppose to be typing.
i feel as tho everything right now is bottled up and i honestly dunno how i want to let it out.
yknow what, i'm tired already, very awesomely tired.
why?
simple, cause everything my heart skips a beat or i feel butterflies,
i gotta keep it to myself and pretend that i dun even care about you no more.
i gotta zip up my lips and throw the key away and smile.
she think your awesome but how can i say the same when i hardly know whats going on with you now?
she is trying her hardest to get you.
what am i suppose to do?
as a friend and as someone who liked you , i can only stand by her and watch her try her best and
swallow my feeling and cheer her on.
she is putting in effort but i don't see why i should.
yes, i know i made a mistake before. i'm trying my hardest not to do it again but
seeing her put that much effort into you just makes me want to do it again.
I hate this. very much.
there are days when i'll wait for your sms and there are days where i'll miss you
but your the guy who i'll loved to hate. Trust me.
and i tried so many times to get you out of my head. i even tried to severe ties with you by telling you, " lets not contact anymore"
but in the end, i took 3 steps forward only to take 13 steps backwards.
dun tell me you give up too easily and only time can make it go away,
well you know what, time ain't on my side and i fcuking tried but fail every time.
This is killing me. this is annoying me.
THIS IS A FCUKING ROLLERCOASTER I CANT GET OFF.
:(

omg! my blog is actually still alive! i'm amazed! 
ps, and very lame apparently.